1 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,801 {\an8}Reno, this is 41-Frank-15. 2 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,761 We're in hot pursuit of a brown Nissan Stanza 3 00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:15,556 Nevada license W-U-V. 4 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,474 - It's a vanity plate. "WUV." - It's a vanity plate. 5 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,934 - It's "WUV." - WUV my-- 6 00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:20,185 - W-UV. WUV me. - WUV... 7 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,646 - WUV me. WUV me. - WUV me. W-WUV me. 8 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:25,232 - WUV my... Love my... - WUV, WUV my K9. 9 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,775 - Love my K9. Love my dog. - Love my K9. 10 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,152 - He loves his dog. - Oh, that is so gross. 11 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,278 - I'm gonna vomit. - Stop! Car! Stop! F... 12 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,414 {\an8}Oh-ho! Oh-ho-ho. 13 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:46,379 {\an8}Aah! Aah! Aah! 14 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:50,383 {\an8}Hey! Hey! 15 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,515 {\an8}Oh-ho! Ho! 16 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,158 'Once again, I got no sleep last night.' 17 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,664 Oh, here we go. 18 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,709 Nice. Nice! 19 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,628 Just my boyfriend, everybody. 20 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,047 It's just Steed, the love of my life. 21 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,174 {\an8}What did you do now? 22 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,177 {\an8}This is so embarrassing. 23 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,179 {\an8}- Clemmy-- - What? What did you do now? 24 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,347 {\an8}What did you steal? 25 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,682 I got to tell you somethin'. I got to come clean. 26 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:45,354 'I come here to propose blissful matrimony to you' 27 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,190 down on bended knee. 28 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:51,985 Clemmy, I know we've been through 29 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,695 some hard times together, uh... 30 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,905 Oh, my God. 31 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,698 Maybe more to come, but, uh 32 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,867 I think now we've made a real turn 33 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,870 uh, almost a complete U-turn. 34 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:02,830 Uh, maybe not a complete U-turn 35 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,541 but, like, a hard, very hard right turn. 36 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,586 'I want you to marry me, Clemmy.' 37 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,421 I got it at JCPenny. 38 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,093 Oh, my God. 39 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,387 'This is not happening.' 40 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,930 Oh, my God. 41 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,724 Yes, by the way. Yes, yes. 42 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,518 Oh, my God. 43 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,405 Is there, like, an empty cell we can use for a couple of... 44 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,573 Well... 45 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,159 Is there? Just for a couple of minutes. 46 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,245 No. No. Take it outside. 47 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,415 {\an8}When I met him, first week... 48 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,917 {\an8}And this is a, this is a true story. First week... 49 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,295 {\an8}I got "Steed" tattooed across my back. 50 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,089 But then he pissed me off the next week 51 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,299 and then I changed... I had to change it. 52 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,634 And so, I just put... 53 00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,429 I kind of had them do an "X" through the "D" 54 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,432 and it says "Steely Dan." 55 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,310 Are we ready to get married? 56 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,606 You know, I... Was I ready to come to work today? 57 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:13,817 {\an8}The thing about Clemmy marrying Steed is this 58 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,777 {\an8}people can do whatever they want to do. 59 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:18,280 You know, we don't live in Communist China. 60 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,282 You know, I'm not gonna tell her 61 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:24,912 "Hey, this is a bad guy with a rap sheet. 62 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,748 "This is a guy who's, you know 63 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,333 "an attempted arsonist 64 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,669 a repeat "B and E." 65 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,338 You know, is that my place to say 66 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,840 "Hey, this guy 67 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,967 "was wanted on statch a couple years back? 68 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,552 "Hey, this guy, you know 69 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:44,306 shot his cousin, you know, back in '81?" 70 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,141 Well, that's not my... People can do whatever they want. 71 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,559 This isn't Communist China. 72 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:53,690 {\an8}- Sheriff's department. - Sheriff's department, sir. 73 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:54,816 {\an8}'Uh, who is it?' 74 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,653 {\an8}- Sheriff's department. - Sheriff's department, sir. 75 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,488 {\an8}- Hi. Can I help you? - 'Yeah, you can help us.' 76 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,657 Uh, look, we're shooting a movie right now. 77 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,741 This is really not the best time. 78 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,160 We're gonna wrap probably in about 10 to 15 minutes 79 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,662 if you guys wanna go grab a soda or something-- 80 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,830 Sir, we've been getting some noise 81 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,500 uh, complaints from, from suite number four here. 82 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,502 You-you have been because there's been a lot of people 83 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,046 knocking on my door 84 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,839 and we are shooting... We're shooting Verite. 85 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,382 I'm not sure if you're familiar with that term 86 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,676 but that means "Real." 87 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,136 You know what's not real, is a couple of knuckleheads 88 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,013 you know what, with my movie. 89 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,556 You know what's real, sir, is we're gonna come inside 90 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,016 'cause your checkout time's 12:00 91 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,643 and it's now 8:00 in the p.m., okay? 92 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,353 - So, uh, that's real now. - Why don't you open up? 93 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,354 Okay, fine. 94 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,564 Cut! Cut! 95 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:35,983 Some people from the police department 96 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,193 would like to see what a real movie is all about. 97 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,528 - This is art, alright? - 'Clear out of the room.' 98 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,530 Do you understand where I live? 99 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,156 I live in America. 100 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:45,367 And in America, you can do what you want 101 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,536 and the Nazis can't come inside and [bleep] with your film. 102 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,621 You know what? 103 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,748 Greased pig. 104 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:54,210 It's love oil, [bleep]. 105 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,378 Son of a bitch! 106 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,381 ♪ Oh say can you see... ♪ 107 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,716 'Don't you sing the anthem!' 108 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,844 ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ 109 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,928 Don't you sing the anthem, sir! 110 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,097 You want soap? 111 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,640 No! You don't sing the anthem. 112 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,684 Damn, this guy weighs, like... 113 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,144 Yes. Say it. Say it! 114 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,562 - No-- - Say it! 115 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,564 Don't... I'm fat. 116 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,566 - I'm a fat [bleep]. - No, you're not fat. 117 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,609 - No. - No, I'm not? 118 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,903 - No, you're not fat. - I'm not fat? 119 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,571 - Really? Look at me! - Yeah. 120 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,781 - Are you blind? - No. 121 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,074 I'm as big as a house! 122 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,576 'Let go!' 123 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,162 Okay, I'll rent the room. 124 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,038 I'll rent the room for another day, okay? 125 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:35,125 No. We're not negotiating anymore, sir. 126 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,045 No! No! Get... No! No! Hold up! 127 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,841 Alright. 128 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,926 So long. Everybody, back to one! 129 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:50,140 Yeah, Reno 11-Charlie-51. 130 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,517 Send us the fire department over to the desert sands. 131 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,563 - 'He's got your stick.' - you. 132 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:57,939 you two times. 133 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,400 What? What? 134 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:00,650 Oh, do you want that? 135 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,651 Oh! 136 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,611 Oh, [bleep]. 137 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,666 {\an8}Clemmy and I met at a G.E.D. class. 138 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:22,130 {\an8}Uh, that's graduate equivalent degree... Diploma. 139 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,673 And he passed me a note. Graduate... 140 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:27,344 Graduate equivalency degree. You got it right the first time. 141 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:30,472 Degree? Uh, I passed her a note... 142 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,598 He passed me a note, and it said, "I think you're hot." 143 00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:34,142 And I passed him a note, and I said 144 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,143 "I don't need you to tell me that." 145 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:38,814 {\an8}I am planning a bachelorette party for you. 146 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,649 {\an8}Strippers. 147 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,317 {\an8}Alright. 148 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,486 {\an8}You have a preference? Black? White? 149 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,780 {\an8}I like them all. 150 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,657 I like black. I like white. 151 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,491 I like black. 152 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:53,161 Just don't get me any Pacific Islanders. 153 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,330 I don't get it. I don't get that. 154 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,456 'Okay, hi, gang.' 155 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,458 {\an8}Uh, my name is Lieutenant Jim Dangle 156 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,669 {\an8}and this is my associate, Deputy Travis Junior. 157 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,171 {\an8}We're from the Reno Sheriff's department. 158 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,840 {\an8}And today we're gonna talk about 159 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,717 a scary and deadly and dangerous drug 160 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,177 that's out on the streets. 161 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,345 It's a killer. 162 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,805 It's a plague that's sweeping the nation 163 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,349 and it's called crystal methamphetamine. 164 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:17,352 'Crystal methamphetamine is a terrible, terrible drug' 165 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:20,355 'and does a lot of terrible things to you.' 166 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:21,356 Now, we're gonna talk about 167 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,066 some of those terrible things it does to you 168 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,819 but in kind of a fun way, so follow along. 169 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,655 And as soon as you know the words, sing along right with me. 170 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,578 ♪ You can monkey with a gibbon ♪ 171 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:38,331 ♪ You can fiddle with a bow ♪ 172 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:39,541 ♪ But before you snort that crystal meth ♪ 173 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:43,504 ♪ There's some things that you should know ♪ 174 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,840 ♪ Meth is made from antihistamines ♪ 175 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:50,051 ♪ In basement labs it's cooked ♪ 176 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,053 ♪ And possession is a felony ♪ 177 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:55,891 ♪ Which means that you'll get booked ♪ 178 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,518 ♪ With a snort it zips right up your nose ♪ 179 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,730 ♪ And eats away your brain ♪ 180 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,732 ♪ It kills your sense of good and evil ♪ 181 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,568 ♪ And it makes you go insane ♪ 182 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,360 ♪ Here we go ♪ 183 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,863 ♪ So don't meth with Meth Beth ♪ 184 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,616 ♪ Don't meth with Meth Seth ♪ 185 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,452 ♪ Don't meth with Meth Gwyneth ♪ 186 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:19,581 ♪ Don't meth with crystal meth ♪ 187 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:19,832 'Any questions?' 188 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:26,046 We got another, uh, 45 minutes to kill. 189 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,966 Uh, any requests? 190 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,510 Anybody? 191 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:35,764 I know some Rush, and I know a, a lot of Floyd. 192 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,312 {\an8}- Hello. - How you doing today, ma'am? 193 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,064 Hi. I'm terrific. How are you guys doing? 194 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,399 - We're doing good. - Just great. 195 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,401 Sorry for the holdup, guys. 196 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,736 - It's alright. - I knew I, I held you up. 197 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,613 That's probably a crime, isn't it? 198 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,782 - Not at all. No problem. - But could you hurry up? 199 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,909 'Cause we got a lot of crime to-- 200 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,785 Can you believe $9 for tacos? 201 00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:00,080 I mean, that's highway robbery, isn't it? 202 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,206 No, it's not bad, actually. 203 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,251 - Highway robbery. - 'It's a fair price, actually.' 204 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,877 - Here you go, guys. - Okay. 205 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,879 Oh! Got it. Oh! 206 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,589 - Got it? - Yeah. 207 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,133 Hope it's not a crime to make you wait. 208 00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,843 Not at all, ma'am. You have a good day. 209 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,679 Do I have taco in my teeth? Huh? Huh? 210 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,764 - No, I don't think so. - 'Thank you.' 211 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:18,849 Bye-bye. 212 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,770 Well, she's kind of jittery, huh? 213 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,980 Well, I got a note here. 214 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,024 "Well, officer, there are two armed men inside." 215 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,693 I hope there's two-armed men back there. 216 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,654 A one-armed guy is not gonna be able to make a taco. 217 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:38,660 {\an8}This here, actually, is my plot. Um... 218 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,538 {\an8}Obviously, there's nobody in it yet 219 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,874 {\an8}but... God willing, there will be. 220 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,377 Hi, mom. 221 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,922 My mom started collecting Beanie Babies... 222 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,843 ...about four years after she died. 223 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,553 I used to leave them out here. 224 00:09:56,554 --> 00:10:00,473 In fact, I had a whole collection, uh, for her. 225 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:03,143 Um, she had a great Princess Diana bear. 226 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,561 Those are a fortune. 227 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,146 I had a hard time getting her that one. 228 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,815 She was really excited when I did finally get it. 229 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:13,153 Um... and I left him out here 230 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:16,073 you know, thinking this is a sacred place, and, uh... 231 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,785 ...some [bleep] kid took him, I think. 232 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,829 I have real dark skin. 233 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,331 My mom was real light-skinned. 234 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:28,418 She was an Irish... girl. 235 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,961 I have real dark skin 'cause I was apparently, so they say... 236 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,965 I was raped... My-my mother was raped by an American Indian. 237 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,136 They're talking about putting more, uh... 238 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,139 Asian people in here. 239 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,725 And, uh 240 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,519 I put up a flyer, um... 241 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,605 Of course, without my name on it or any information 242 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,524 saying, you know 243 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:54,361 "Let's try and keep..." 244 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,238 In so many words, "Let's try and keep the Asians out." 245 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,865 And I haven't heard anything back. 246 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,284 But then again, I didn't put my name or any phone number on it 247 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:04,204 so I don't know how I would hear back. 248 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,705 {\an8}'Here, wait. I gotta have my head...' 249 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,249 {\an8}'I got to get down lower. There we go. Medusa.' 250 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,834 {\an8}'And then I go up, and... Oh, yeah.' 251 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,336 'Yeah.' 252 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,796 Look at that. That's pretty damn cool. 253 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,964 - Oh, man of mystery. - Yeah. 254 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,966 Oh, go away, you evil Greek guy. 255 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,094 Alright. 256 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,762 You have been cursed by the evil Medusa. 257 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,223 You have been cursed. 258 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,058 Hey, how 'bout the people who had to go to the bathroom? 259 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,694 {\an8}Whoo! 260 00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:38,988 {\an8}Oh, sorry, sorry! 261 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,574 {\an8}I have a speech that I would like to make. 262 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,284 Well, go ahead on, girl! 263 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:43,952 Well, truth be told, this is the first party 264 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,121 I've ever been invited to. 265 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,957 Don't laugh. 266 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:49,999 - I'm sorry for-- - Shh! 267 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:50,917 It's, like, why did we invite her? 268 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,671 I don't know Steed very well... 269 00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:59,427 ...but my motto is, don't judge a book by its cover. 270 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:01,928 - Okay, girl. - Alright, that's... 271 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,139 Whoo! 272 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,974 I was waiting tonight to tell you this 273 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,602 'cause I decided this, like, a week ago, that, um... 274 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,855 Once you guys decide you want to have children 275 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,858 I will sleep with Steed 276 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:18,611 for as many times as it takes to get me pregnant 277 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,947 until I give birth and give you that baby. 278 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,533 ''Cause you deserve to be a mom. You really fricking do.' 279 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,952 I'm gonna tell you right now, white people are crazy. 280 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:26,995 - 'Cheers.' - Crazy and nasty. 281 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,874 All that to say, I'm really excited 282 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,792 that you guys are here today. 283 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,878 And that you don't feel 284 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,172 like there's a competition. 285 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,340 'Cause it's not about a competition. 286 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:42,135 Because we know who the winner is in this room 287 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,263 and it's the one who's getting married. 288 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,644 {\an8}Son of a bitch, this guy is drunk as a skunk 289 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,896 {\an8}or high as a kite. 290 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,315 {\an8}Let's check it out. 291 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,358 Put your hands where I can see them! 292 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,902 Hands where I can see them! 293 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,029 Put your hands, passengers, sic 'em! 294 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,364 God damn it it, Steed. 295 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:06,034 Steed, what the are you doing, man? 296 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,243 You've been weaving all over the road. 297 00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:09,037 'You're driving like a crazy person.' 298 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:09,871 Steed, step out of the vehicle, will you, please? 299 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,207 Step on out, Steed. 300 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,750 God damn it. 301 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,877 'What are you doing tonight, Steed?' 302 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,880 Uh, Peyote. Mushrooms... 303 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:19,881 Alright, alright. 304 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,175 - Some crystal meth... - You did what? 305 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,092 Uh, about 28 beers. 306 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,178 What do you got? Don't, don't... 307 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,514 Okay, you got some marijuana. 308 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,390 That is some good [bleep] there. 309 00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:33,269 Steed, you know you can't... What the [bleep], Steed? 310 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,190 God damn. Steed, that's like a pound of marijuana. 311 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,608 - You got a .38. - No, no, no. 312 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:42,028 - Steed, stop, stop, stop. - Stop, stop, stop, stop. 313 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,154 You're overincriminating yourself. 314 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,448 We weren't even gonna pat you down. 315 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,242 'God damn it, Steed.' 316 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,660 We're gonna pretend we didn't see that. 317 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,079 - No! Hand out of your pocket! - 'Hand out of your pocket!' 318 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,080 You're family. Don't make us shoot you. 319 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,123 - . - What are you doing? 320 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,041 - This is, uh... - What the hell are you doing? 321 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,127 That's brown heroin. This is, uh... 322 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,255 You know, we weren't even gonna search you. 323 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,131 I didn't even want to know what was in your pockets. 324 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,133 'Make sure you keep the cap on that.' 325 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,928 You're getting married in, like, 12 hours, man. 326 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,555 'You just don't know when to quit, do you' 327 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,557 I'll be real honest with you, I don't know when... 328 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,141 No, I've got some problems. 329 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,269 Going through the A.A. Twelve-step... 330 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,770 'You ain't doing too good.' 331 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,438 Which step is the four pounds of marijuana? 332 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:19,274 - 'Which step is that?' - 'Steed, just cool off, okay?' 333 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,277 Just freeze right there. Freeze. 334 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,570 - Travis, come here, man. - No, we got it. 335 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,113 'Travis, come here.' 336 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,407 Don't go nowhere. Don't go nowhere. 337 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,909 I, for one, am not gonna be the guy 338 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,619 who takes Clemmy's husband-to-be in 339 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,787 the night before his nuptials. 340 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,290 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do this to that woman. 341 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,083 We'll dump the stuff, and we'll let him go, okay? 342 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,627 - We'll let him go? - We're not gonna let him drive. 343 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,297 But we're gonna dump the stuff and let him go. 344 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,965 She ain't gonna do no better. You're right. 345 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:44,966 'No better than Steed. He's no prize, but neither is she.' 346 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,218 'Come on.' 347 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,972 Okay, Steed, we've talked it over 348 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:51,556 and I just want to say... 349 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,600 - Ah! - Oh! [bleep]. 350 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,310 God damn it! Are you... Steed! 351 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,353 Ah! 352 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,441 {\an8}Oh, my God, remember when we... 353 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,318 {\an8}- What we did with this that... - Yeah, I... 354 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,320 Oh, my gosh. 355 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,488 'I totally remember.' 356 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,699 I got you that. It's a mug with a picture of me. 357 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,492 I had it made at the coffee shop. 358 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,828 It's on both sides, in case you're left-handed. 359 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:18,166 Anybody want a... Anybody want a hot cup of wang? 360 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,000 'Look at your nails. Those are gorgeous.' 361 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,044 Somebody, at the door! 362 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,629 - How I look? - 'You're working it.' 363 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,845 It's the posse! Whoo! 364 00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:33,139 Um, uh, is it a problem, officer? 365 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,476 Yes, we have a noise complaint. 366 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,144 'Well, was we making too much noise?' 367 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,688 I don't think you was making enough noise. 368 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,192 Oh, baby! 369 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,527 - Whoo! - Yeah! 370 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,112 Ladies, we are the men of Mantasia. 371 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,699 You ready for some chocolate-caramel sticks? 372 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,201 You ready for some man meat... 373 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,662 Whoo! 374 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,165 - 'Hold on.' - 'Oh. H-hold on, hold on.' 375 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,793 - Jones? - 'Whoa.' 376 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,878 Hi-hi, Trudy. 377 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,254 What you doing here? 378 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,298 Moonlighting. 379 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,219 Listen, hey, I don't need you looking at me that way, okay? 380 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,013 Uh, if you want another officer, fine, I'll go. 381 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,015 I-I need the money, okay? 382 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,558 No, no, no, no, no. 383 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,103 Jonesy. Officer darling. 384 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,564 I paid for three strippers. 385 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,108 I'm gonna have three strippers. Let's get the party started! 386 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,110 This is a conflict of interest. 387 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,078 On the right! On the right! 388 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,587 Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. 389 00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,048 Who-o-o-oo! 390 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:51,217 Whoo! Whoa! 391 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,969 The babies need their bottle? 392 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,387 - Ohh! - 'Ohh!' 393 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,596 Ohh. 394 00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:17,368 ♪ Ave ♪ 395 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:23,124 ♪ Maria ♪ 396 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:28,629 ♪ Gratia plena ♪ 397 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:33,134 ♪ Maria gratia plena ♪ 398 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:37,513 ♪ Ave Dominus ♪ 399 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:43,936 ♪ Dominus tecum ♪ 400 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:45,480 I just want to thank you all for coming out 401 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,607 on this egregious occasion. 402 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,525 Uh, I'm a straight-shooting cowboy. You all know that. 403 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:51,277 I've partied with many of you 404 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,154 oftentimes till 4:00 a.m., shooting down shots of jag. 405 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:58,159 'Uh... Clemmy, love of my life' 406 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,160 'I always wanted to be in a' 407 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,788 semimonogamous relationship with you. 408 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,164 Uh, looking forward to it. 409 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,749 Uh... 410 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,627 Uh, your tits look great. 411 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,336 That's all. 412 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:11,214 Clementine. 413 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,265 I love you, and, um... 414 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,353 When one dynamic person meets another dynamic person 415 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:29,190 it's like a whole lot of dynamite. 416 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,151 'And I promise that, um...' 417 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,029 I will stay in this marriage until we both agree 418 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,907 that we don't want to do it anymore. 419 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,367 I love you. 420 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,706 With this ring... 421 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,376 I don't know how that... There you go. 422 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,546 If there be any here, whatsoever 423 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,880 who knows of a reason 424 00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,049 that this man and woman should not be joined 425 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,717 in holy matrimony 426 00:18:56,718 --> 00:19:00,222 speak now or forever hold your peace. 427 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:10,231 'Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Nevada' 428 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,359 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 429 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,319 You may now... Oh, there you go. 430 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,448 - 'Whoo!' - 'Alright.' 431 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,378 We're married! 432 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,921 I love you! 433 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,756 Aah! 434 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,685 - They ain't gonna make it. - We're married! 435 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:48,936 Yeah! 436 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,360 - 'Can we go, or what?' - 'Yeah, let's go.' 437 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:01,741 {\an8}Don't come at me with this attitude 438 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,910 {\an8}like "I'm gonna judge." 439 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:04,452 {\an8}What am I doing is none of your business. 440 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,287 I got my cat, Mr. Paws 441 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,831 {\an8}and I'm gonna make sweet love to this young lady. 442 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,750 Mr. Paws is gonna watch 'cause that's an extension of myself 443 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,753 and that's legal, because that's my choice. 444 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,422 Girl, what happened to you? Did Steed do this to you? 445 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:19,592 Yes, he did, but you should see what I did to him. 446 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,344 He's in the hospital with his jaw wired shut. 447 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:22,929 It's all good. 448 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:23,429 - Oh, my God. - 'Oh, my God.' 449 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,640 Yeah, so... 450 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,809 - 'Are you alright?' - I'm fine. I'm fine. 451 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,312 I mean, we were... We forgot to get a license 452 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,522 so we were never really married, so it's fine. 453 00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,650 Clemmy's back, and she's single, and... 454 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,319 And it's all good. 455 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,997 Adolf Hitler was not gay, okay? 456 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,249 - I heard that he was. - No, he was not. 457 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,794 He loved Wagner, and he... He was gay. 458 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,712 'He also had one ball, they say.' 459 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:57,338 - Yeah. - And he was Jewish. 460 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,548 - 'Yeah.' - Oh, yeah. 461 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,677 And he had one ball. 462 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,136 I think. 463 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,513 That might be just from a song. 464 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,348 - No, he really had one ball. - 'He only had one ball.' 465 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,058 It's in the Museum of Tolerance now. 466 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:12,311 - 'No, it's not.' - Well, where else would it be? 467 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,188 'They put Hitler's ball in the Museum of Tolerance?' 468 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,523 You got to know where to... 469 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,484 You got to ask, and they'll let you in the back room.